TO PLEASE EACH OTHERS EYES

There is so much pain in the world. Pain which radiates itself in so many ways. It’s that ache that roots itself so deep inside your chest that your eyes begin to water. We can all identify with it. Whether you are an abused woman, an orphan, or someone who has lost their most treasured loved one. We all battle the pain. Sometimes losing, sometimes winning. Pain has a way of making time drag on. It has a way of driving people to do otherwise crazy and even harmful things. Addictive personalities, anger, reclusiveness, control, even suicide. Pain, when bottled inside, can be very dangerous. When all you’ve known is hardship, without it you don’t know who you are or what to do. You long for the moment you can have peace inside yourself, but when those moments present themselves you push them aside and focus on yet some other pain, probably exaggerating it to remain in the pain that has become, oddly enough, comfortable. We cling to our pain, so strongly, that we cannot overcome it. We long for someone to feel and understand how bad we ourselves make it. With everyone longing for others to see what we feel, we neglect putting ourselves aside and helping our fellow sufferers, and there are many of them.

We strive to be accepted and important. We strive to acquire things and status. But it is all worthless to us. It is all just a well crafted distraction. We think that maybe if others see us as successful and busy, then we will be able to live in our own skin. Find happiness. We are taught from day one, that we should strive for beauty, education, status, and wealth. Without it we are considered lesser, even discarded and tossed aside. Frowned upon and whispered about. What if we choose not to strive for a job? What if we are happy without money to buy the comforts of life? What if we choose to remain at home, to do only so much as our daily prayers and fasting? To read books and exercise our minds, alone. Not to show people how smart we are by hanging a hard earned degree on our office wall. To be happy with our morning tea and a mattress on the floor. Does that mean we are lazy or poorer for it?

What are we really doing when we buy the latest fashions and walk the accepted even expected road? Who are we trying to please? Ourselves or those around us? Are we so weak that we cannot break free from the masses and see what is going on? Are we so blind that we cannot see ourselves trapped trying to fit into a world based on images and lies? We are so immersed that we will even argue to defend ourselves, our actions as justified, passing the other off as crazy or extreme. We will make ourselves feel better about what we are doing by going to a halaqa or reading some Qur’an every now and then. And once we have convinced ourselves that we are doing good, who can show us anything different?

Although it seems odd to most, I find myself extremely fortunate to be able spend moments of silence simply pondering about the motion of the waves in the bathtub, or trying to trace the path of light from a reflection to its source. All the little details of life that go unnoticed and unquestioned. It is truly a joy and a blessing to be able to discover and unlock the many mysteries of how things work. It is almost as if Allah has stored tiny little surprises in treasure chests all around us and all it takes to unlock them is a little curiosity. Most are content with their daily drive to work and being able to decorate their hard earned personal space, or at least they pretend to be.

Men busy themselves so well. But what comes from the millions of people who go about their days doing the things that they say are so important and meaningful? Are there not people starving who live right around the corner? Are there not still people being treated and sold as animals? Are we not, through our hunger for success, power, and money, destroying the very planet we live on? Then what is it we are doing that is so good and important? What measure of success is it to build a street full of shiny tall buildings in comparison to defending and establishing the basic rights of every human being in our vicinity? It is sad but true, that in the eyes of men, a tall and shiny building is heavier on the scale of achievement than defending the rights of and providing equality for the poor and weaker members of our society.

Powerful men gather together, giving speeches to each other about peace and humanity. They wish only to please each other’s ears. For if their words were sincere, then why would they have to gather in sight of the world, standing before a marble pulpit in an overly priced tuxedo, and profess the desire to feed the poor? Sincerity comes from action and action comes not from mere speeches but sacrificing the marble and silk for the orphans who are facing a life of hopelessness and who happen to be living in your back yard. It is all for show. It is in fact, our desire for respect and success that blinds us to our true lack of it. It is as Thoreau said, “We are made to exaggerate the importance of what we do; and yet how much is not done by us!”

But, even as I think these things, I am among the guilty who are lacking of meaningful action. So I fear that most humans will most likely continue to live apathetic, even selfish lives.

“Not until the creation and maintenance of decent conditions of life for all people are recognized and accepted as a common obligation of all people and all countries – not until then shall we, with a certain degree of justification, be able to speak of humankind as civilized.”
Albert Einstein